A little over a decade ago I sat in my second period Spanish class and hated my existence. That was until Jenny Rogers, the most attractive broad in the joint, leaned in to me and told me something I had never expected to hear. You see, she said that we had twin exchange students starting this week and that I wouldn't believe their names. She had heard that they were brothers from Africa and their names were pronounced: Aranjeleau and Lemanjeleau. But sadly that wasn't how their names were spelled. No it was not. According to this chick, their names were spelled as follows: O-R-A-N-G-E-J-E-L-L-O and L-E-M-O-N-J-E-L-L-O. 'No Way', I thought. Hold the phone. Could someones parents be so cruel. Surely you jest. I spent days, days I tell you, searching the school for these two poorly named fellows only to find out all along that it had been a rouse. Not only was there no Orangejello and Lemonjello, but there were no foreign exchange students at all that year! Fool me once you twisted wench!

Several years later, I was wrapping up my tenure at the Harvard Technical University of Costa Rica when, who should I encounter ... none other than the very same Jenny Rogers that I had gone to high school with. She was as beautiful as ever. She proceeded to spin a yarn for me not to be believed! She said that she was currently working in a lab and trying to find a medical cure for hiccups. She then told me that director in charge of her lab was named Damon Shi-theed. Except that it wasn't how you spelled the name. No sir-re bob. Dr. Damon's last name was spelled S-H-I-T-H-E-A-D. That's what she said. Could you believe it? Alas, I recalled my experience with the Jello brothers as a youth and would not be fooled again. So I punched her in her stupid stomach, flew home and took to this newfangled interweb invention called Google. I did my research and found that however unlikely it is that there are people on this earth with names like the Jello Brothers and Dr. Shithead, there are plenty of outrageous and ridiculous names out there. Celebrities love to let their minds flow and vomit the strangest of names for their children. These poor individuals are named after places, things, classifications and fictional characters. Lets run down 10 of them shall we.

1. Kal-El

In 2005 Nic Cage let his freak flag fly when he named his son Kal-El. Kal-El, which happens to be the original alien name of Clark Kent. You know ... Superman. The man of steel. Son of Krypton. Talk about setting the bar really high. This is a man so crazy, that if this kid can't stop a bullet or be faster than a locomotive then he has fallen short of his namesake. That sucks (Like his fathers movies.)

2. Apple

He's the lead singer of Coldplay (Chris Martin). She's the actress who thinks she can sing country music (Gwyneth Paltrow). So when it was time for them to push their first munchkin out into the world, only one name seemed right for their daughter - Apple. Apple Martin. Now I love fruit and computers just as much as the next guy but this kid is way to close to being named Apple Tini for my blood.

3. Rocket

Texas filmmaker Robert Rodriguez is known for his explosions and loose cannon style on the big screen, but no one thought that he would do his child as much of a disservice as he did the day he walked into that delivery room. Now we have Rocket Rodriguez. I'm assuming the kid came out really fast, cause I don't want to think about him blowing it up in there.

4. Audio Science

Hey, remember the chick from '40 Days and 40 Nights'? Neither do I! But according to Google she (Shannon Sossamon) and her boyfriend decided that they did not just want a name for their child, but instead a word. A word that symbolized something. They settled on Audio Science Clayton. Audio Science? First of all, that's two words. Second, who's gonna wanna fuck a dude with a name that sounds like a sound engineering elective.

5. Moon Unit

The most notorious bizarre name of all time makes the list not only in honor of her pop Frank Zappa, who named the rest of his children Dweezil, Ahmet and Diva. But also because she is the only one on the list with the sense to try and make her name slightly normal. She now goes by simply Moon. Still the name of a weird fuckin' hippie, but hey - you do the best with what you can.

Click on to the next page to see 5 more ridiculous names.